No Rain, No Flower
by paincanmakepeoplechange
Summary: (bad summaries) A normal day. But a case come to the BAU. When Homosexuals Couples are found, tortured and raped, the minds of every profilers are at their maximum. But, Reid who developped feelings for Morgan and try his best to hide it, is very in a bad mood with this case, thinking at how sexuality can become a reason to hate. Plus, a kidnapping gonna happen. (Futur M rated)


**Summary:** [Moreid (Morgan x Reid : don't like, don't read) : Criminal Minds) (I'm bad at summaries) A normal day. Normal feelings. But a case come to the BAU. And that change the normal of the day. When Homosexuals Couples are found, tortured and raped, the minds of every profilers are at their maximum. But, Reid who developped feelings for Morgan and try his best to hide it, is very in a bad mood with this case, thinking at how sexuality can become a reason to hate someone, and fear Morgan may hate him if he know. And, with all of that, the unsub who start feel the dangerous coming, decide to change his habits. The next victim gonna be one of them, not a stranger. And, he gonna make him suffer.

 **Disclaimer :** I don't own Criminal Minds (if I do, I would make Spencer happy for once, and no one would never die in the team ! XD) I just own the plot of the story.

 **Warnings :** Moreid (Morgan x Reid : Dont like, don't read). Angst. Drugs. Torture. Love. Mentions of Rape. Camera. Humiliation. Good Friendships. Depression. Beating Mentions. Lot of tears. Happy End (not sure okay?). Dunno about Smut, maybe, maybe not. **Maybe R-18 if I decide to make one.**

 **Author's Notes :** I hope you guys will like it. Hope I didn't do too much mistakes, I said that before, but English is not my fisrt language and I'm just learning it so hope it's okay. Oh, and, the first chapter is a bit slow but don't worry the next one, or maybe the number 3 would become really much good ! Good reading

 _Ps_ : If you need a music to read this, listen to "Creep" by Ashley Johnson, if you want, I would change it every chapter. I think this one fit really with what would think Spencer if he really was in love with Morgan. "You're so fucking special. I wish I was special. But I'm creep, I'm a weirdo." Honestly, I feel like the lyrics are write for him every time I heard it !

 **Chapter #1**

( **Talk** & _Thoughts_ )

 _Oh god._ This day gonna be a very long day for him. He hate morning like that. Because he know that during all the case that they would take, he would have to seem totally normal, when in fact, he is internally dying. Well, he can't blame anyone but him. If at least, he was normal, he would be able to have sleep, and not be that tired this morning. But honestly. Everyone know that Spencer Reid is everything but normal, in fact. Sometime, he really think that being awkward is really exhausting. Come on, he don't really have the choice. With that, he try to convince himself to prepare, before going to the BAU. Hope no one gonna realise and tell him : "Wha, you look like a zombie, are you okay ?". This time, Hotch seem a bit concerned by the case they got, when he call Reid. But he didn't say anything but "Get up and meet at nine.". And when, at 09:15, Reid enter the meeting room, everyone was here. _Baaad. That's bad. Good job, Reid, you can be sure they will talk to you later…_ If he is the last one to arrive, he know they would be suspiscious, considering the fact he is always, like…. ? Like always be in time or with advance. Well, when they don't come together, ordinary, Morgan is the last one. When he take a seat, he just try to look like he always is. By luck, Garcia enter the room at this moment, saving Spencer of a long discussion about "You know, sleep is important for your health, …". _Like I don't know this._

When pictures came out, and they start describe the scene, he already understand why they seem all so tense. That's the sort of case, after case with childrens, that are the more intense. The people are slow about accept that, and it's not so rare that these couple are hated by a lot. But when crime are comitted because of homophobic people who can't accept difference, that's always a bit hard to manage. All the members of their team are very open mind, and they always had a very hard time when it come to the part they should talk to the murderer and saying things like "we understand you" or "yeah, a girl liking a girl, what a disgusting thing, come on, put down this gun". And that's even more difficult for Reid. Mostly because he is, himself, gay, even if he really don't admit it to anyone but him. And, maybe because he never learn of to control his emotions in situations of that style, too. Like this time, when they had the bullying case, he was just so pissed off, his mind was making joke to him by remember all the pain he felt when he was a child, and he was really lost in his feelings that time. Now, he always fear that this happen again. Today more than others days, because he have to be sure that he will stay normal, he don't want his team to know his feelings about men. But, that's their work. They are, all, profilers. And that what afraid him the most.

 **"- So, last week, two bodies were found, two girls : Alice Perkins and Molly Homson. They had a lot of bruises, and by the state of their body, we can already know that the unsub is probably a sadist. Two of them were attached by their cuffs at a tree in a park, during the night."**

Spencer don't really understand the rest of the details because he was gone into his reflections. He look at the photography of the scene, and of the corpse. _Poor girls. They were young. They had only nineteen years old._ He is sure they had a sadist, and someone who is an extrem homophobic without even heard the last part of Hotch's announce talk.

 **"- And yesterday, two new body were found, two men, thirsty two years old. The scene is exactly the same, but in a different park. What do you guys think ?**

 **\- Are the victims all homosexual couples ?"** ask Emily, looking at her folder

Hotch answer that, yes, they are. Then, they talk about how it can be someone sure that he is justice, or even god himself, by looking at the state of the body. They were very mutilated, and if the girls were not, one of the two men was rape. _That don't suit the thing. Not a guy. A guy who is an extrem homophobic wouldn't have rape another guy. That would be totally contradictory._ They finally said they have to talk more about it on the crime scene. When they were on the jet, Rossi ask them to not think to much and just sleep a bit during the road, because that would be like always a pretty rought case. Well, Reid almost want to hug him for said that _. I just NEED to sleep a bit. Or I think I will became totally crazy._ But however how many time he try, he just can't sleep. Not there, not with all the team right beside him. He don't want to admit it but, he fear that something happen during he sleep, and god, that would be too embarassing. He really don't want to experiment the same things than others nights in front of them. That was already so embarassing to be wake up by a problem in your pant cause by a wet dream about one of your coworker. One of your MAN coworker. God seem to really hate me lately _. Like I need that._ His feelings was already hard to understand.

Unconsciously, he stare at Morgan, two second just because he don't want him to realise that he was looking. _God, he is hot. Even snoring, with his headphone and music in his hear, he look so freacking hot._ Reid give himself a mental kick for thinking that of his best friend. Feelings are so hard to explain and to pass by. He want he can just tell him like "hey Morgan, I want to tell you I want you so badly, I love you since the first day !". But he can't. That's not him, he can't do that, that's not possible. He would ruin their friendship, and Morgan is the only best friend he always had, he can't just tell him he love him when the chocolate thunder of Garcia consider the genius like his little brother. _Honestly, I don't even know what is better between friendzone and brotherzone._ And he knwo that Morgan see him just like… Yeah, just like a kid. A kid that can't being on his own. A kid that don't grown. He would never be able to think to the genius like a potential lover. _That's impossible._ In fact, Spencer doesn't even have an idea if Dereck was bisexual or not. So it's a bit complicated.

He sighed and turn his head to the window of the jet. That would be a long difficult case for him. After some minutes, he start to feel really boring and he try to think at something to do. He can't even try to open the folder of the case, Rossi would immediately take it from him and forced him to sleep. He don't really want to read or talk to someone at that moment. Finally, he take his bag and grab a little blue notebook. The one he always had on him. He had two notebooks with him, all the time, wherever he go. The red, that one is the one that retrace his life and his feelings between 5 and 20 years. The blue is the one where he write his actual life. He like having secret diary, even if it feel a bit girly. That relax him and distressed him from all the things he can't tell to anyone, but he can write on a paper. Like loving and wet-dreaming about Morgan. He can't tell, but he can write. And that's pretty relaxing for him. _Like that, I can manage to not finish in a psychiatric , not for the moment._

He write what he was thinking in his diary for almost the entire second hour of the road to the crime scene. The case, His friends on the team, his mother who he talk to yesterday at phone, his thoughts, his feelings, … Many subjects that always fill the pages of his privates notes. At least, he is a bit less tired than he was before. _Writing and reading always got me awake. Strange, no ? Actually, the statistics I know about that subject is that 84% of people read before sleeping. Hm, don't matter, anyway_. When they are out of the jet, they were finally designed by groups of two to do different things. Spencer would have to talk to the family of every victims with JJ and he is perfectly happy with that. If he had to choose, he prefer talk to the family than see the corpses, and he prefer do it with JJ than anyone else, actually. If he had to talk to someone about what stress him, it would probably her, or maybe Garcia. He don't really know why. Maybe just because they are girls. _Stop, Spencer. Stop thinking about anything but the case. Keep your mind on the case and JUST on the case._

When he enter the house and see all the victim's family, his heart skip a beat. _They all seem so sad, so broken. And that understandable_. He look at JJ who look as saddened than him, and both took a deep breath before walking towards them.


End file.
